dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
