Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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