i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
