Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
