Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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