i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize