How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
