nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
