the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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