He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
