I am puke
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
