I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
