Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
