good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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