i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
