She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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