What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
