My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My penis needs a shock collar
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
