Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
