i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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