at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
