i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
bring money and cleavage
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
