READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize