Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
