I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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