I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
