nut hugger
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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