at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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