i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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