guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
id be glad to
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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