this beer tastes like vomit already
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
