my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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