Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
