please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Shame is for Republicans.
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