I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There r osticjed everywhere
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
