I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
