I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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