so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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