He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
