You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
