His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
