In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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