when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
