Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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