I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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