I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
