because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize