WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
