4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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