Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
