shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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