Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
