we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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