Your face is a jimmy john
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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