is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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