to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
