The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
