Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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