It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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