dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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