Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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