She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
