All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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