I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
