I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
